"Ainda pior que a convicção do não e a incerteza do talvez é a desilusão de um quase. É o quase que me incomoda, que me entristece, que me mata trazendo tudo que poderia ter sido e não foi. Quem quase ganhou ainda joga, quem quase passou ainda estuda, quem quase morreu está vivo, quem quase amou não amou. Basta pensar nas oportunidades que escaparam pelos dedos, nas chances que se perdem por medo, nas idéias que nunca sairão do papel por essa maldita mania de viver no outono."

"Plans are like candy to Fates. The only thing you could ever be sure of is nothing ever goes the way you imagined. I should probably be used to that by now. The thing is you can never tell when everything you counted on might fall apart - no matter how solid the rock. Rocks break. Everything changes even when you think you're sure, especially...To be fair, if I was one of the fates looking down at the best laid plans of dumb little people, probably see mine and want to mess with him too (...). You want to know about me. I get scared sometimes and disappointed. I have doubts and I love getting my way. I don't like change, but I know it's good for me and inevitable so I welcome it as best as I can. There's a poem by Johann Franck that says it better than I will. 'Defy the old Dragon, defy fear. The world may rage and quake but I shall remain singing in perfect peace'. Yeah, things happen - things you don't expect - or want or like. The world rages and you become someone you didn't know you'd ever be."

Now I'm feeling like crap...That's awesome...

Eu me meto em cada enrrascada...Fala serio! hauahauahaua

"Ainda é cedo amor
Mal começaste a conhecer a vida
Já anuncias a hora da partida
Sem saber mesmo o rumo que irás tomar

Preste atenção querida
Embora eu saiba que estás resolvida
Em cada esquina cai um pouco a sua vida
Em pouco tempo não serás mais o que és

Ouça-me bem, amor
Preste atenção o mundo é um moinho
Vai triturar teus sonhos tão mesquinhos
Vai reduzir as ilusões a pó

Preste atenção querida
De cada amor tu herdarás só o cinismo
Quando notares estás à beira do abismo
Abismo que cavaste com teus pés"

Cartola

Desabafo

Who are you?

You have to figure it out fast.

If you want to keep being the sweet, inocent, shy girl that you have been until now and accept the consequences of being that girl (that is, being a lonely person).

Or if you want to change and become this new different girl: daring, challenging...
But if I choose this second option, would I be pretending being someone else? Or just exploring my new facet, a new part of me? And if I choose this second option, would I be prepared to deal with its consequences?

Oh, god. I hate dilemmas. I hate not knowing what to do. I hate all this indecisiveness. And above all, I hate my life right now. But the point is that I like being the way I am. But being me right now, it's not making me any good.

I can't live like this anymore. Not after knowing how it is to be happy.

I just want the life that I had in Canada. I had friends, I used to go out, I felt loved. People accepted me the way I am: the sweet, inocent, shy girl. And above all, I was happy.

"Vi uma estrela tão alta,
Vi uma estrela tão fria!
Vi uma estrela luzindo
Na minha vida vazia."
(Manuel Bandeira)

"Amor é fogo que arde sem se ver;

É ferida que dói e não se sente;

É um contentamento descontente;

É dor que desatina sem doer;"

(Camões)

"Deus! ó Deus! onde estás, que não respondes?"

(Castro Alves)

"Amigos ou inimigos estão, amiúde, em posições trocadas. Uns nos querem mal, e fazem-nos bem. Outros nos almejam o bem, e nos trazem o mal."

(Rui Barbosa)

"You're all alone, and you can't take it
You're just too tired to suffocate it"

"Losing my faith wasn't a choice that I made. It happened. It's gone"

"If it can magically disappear, it can magically reappear. That's what you are hoping for"

"I guess I'm just trying to fill the void"

"I need to know that the worst is behind me. I don't know if I can handle anymore unhappiness"

"I'm bored. With the school, with the work, with this town...and mostly with myself"

"I've been trying in the past couple of weeks to change things that I have absolutely no control over"

"The only person you can really rely on is yourself"

"If this was a movie, it would end different. But life is not a movie"

"I'm so hopelessly lonely"

"I just don't want to end up alone"

"Sometimes you swear you were born to lose"

You must stop being so dependable...You have to deal with your loneliness and learn to be happy alone...Otherwise, when people start abandoning you, you won't have anything else...you'll lose everything...

But at the same time, stop pushing people away...you can't do that everytime someone gets near you...specially if it's someone special...

But how can I know if someone is really special? How can I know if that mentioned person is not lying?

Why do I have trust issues?

I am so insecure...I am so complicated...

I talked to you and now I'm so much better...

What do I do without you here?

Yeah...As you can notice, today is not a very good day for me...

I knew that when you stopped making me feel so special, I would feel like crap...

And now? What do I do now?

My life sounds pathetic even to me, imagine to the others...

No, I'm not talking about the others in Lost...hauahauahauahaua

Please, take away this feeling...

I don't know what to do with my life...

Quando eu finalmente acho alguem que gosta de mim de verdade, a pessoa esta do outro lado do mundo...

Fala serio...so podia ser comigo mesmo! hauahauahaahaua

Bad karma...

Eu me pergunto: de que adianta ser uma boa aluna? De que adianta vc se esforcar e tudo mais? Se as pessoas que nao estao nem ai, sempre acabam se dando melhor?

E eu me pergunto tambem: de que adianta ser uma boa pessoa? Se na vida real, tao diferente dos filmes, os bonzinhos sempre se dao mal no final?

"I realized a long time ago that dreams have power only over your own mind; but with money you can have power over the minds of others", Q&A, Vikas Swarup

“If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's real embarrassing if someone tries to kill you.”
-Jack Handey