Let's be honest here. Why am I doing what people are telling me to do? What am I doing what people believe I'm supposed to do? I've never been normal. I mean, I usually don't do what most people would do...I've always followed my heart. I've always had my beliefs. And I know that following my heart not always have been a good idea, but...I can't keep doing things just because other people and my rational side are telling me to do it...and I know that following my heart doesn't seem a very good idea at the moment, but...I can't do something if my heart is not in it.

Fuck. I hate being me just now.

Making decisions have never been so difficult. They were so easy to make when my rational side and heart agreed upon something.